I'm typing to keep busy. It'll keep my mind focus, as so many thoughts are popping in and out, it's driving me crazy. I have under two hours to go until I head off to O'hare. I'm not looking forward to my flight. I hate trans-Atlantic flights, especially overnight ones. I guess it goes back to my early days of traveling to Europe. Little sleep and recycled air leaves me feeling cranky. I hope some energy and optimism see me through when I arrive in Paris, and reunite with my husband in the terminal. I hope it kicks in, big time, that this is the beginning of something I have waited for for a very long time.
I woke up in a panic at 5:00 this morning. It was like all the anxiety I haven't been feeling for weeks hit me all at once. And then there were banging noises outside, and our motion-sensor lights came on. I still don't know what was going on out there, but it was long time until I could fall back asleep. And when I fell asleep, it was time to get up.
I've had nothing but an enjoyable stay. I have my parents to thank, as they made it as comfortable as possible for me. I even got to sleep in my old bedroom. Even though the decor has changed considerably, it was still nice to have that view from my window that I grew up with, looking out over the park. The weather was a shock to my system, in a very good way. It was unseasonably warm almost the entire time I've been here. Everything is at least a month ahead of schedule. Trees and flowers that aren't supposed to be blooming until May are presently in full bud. This has made my neighborhood walks all the more pleasant, as the air is full of the scent of crab apples, lilacs and magnolias (and various other flowers I can't identify). I feel spoiled with all this good weather, and my mom's fine cooking (I've put on a few pounds which are quite noticable when I wear certain pairs of jeans). There have been moments here that have been positively spa-like, with drinks out on the patio, with the Italian-style fountain running and flowers blooming all around. My nieces have been a big part of my visit, and have brought out the kid in me, whether it's running around with their dog Buddy or playing Rock Band on their Xbox. I've accomplished everything I came to do, from renewing my driver's license to filing my foreign taxes. In short--this has been an ideal stay. I am very grateful, as I have my engine tuned up and ready to go for the harrowing year ahead (physically harrowing I'm sure. To drive this point home, I won't be sleeping in a bed again until April 13th. That's over a week away).
Before I head off (1:30 is rapidly approaching) I would like to say how I've bonded again with my hometown. Maybe everything looks better in good weather, I can't say for certain if that has to do with it, but DeKalb was just straight out fantastic this time around. Walking through neighborhoods and passing by schools and places I used to hang out--it's all very nostalgic. DeKalb was a great place to grow up in, for me. It may lack excitement, but it's grounded. I have strong Midwestern roots, and I'm proud of the place I come from. I go out into the world with a stronger sense of who I am.
I have yet to say goodbye to everyone, and I'm more emotional than I expected. I'll see everyone again in a year (which isn't so bad considering I've been away longer). When I return in a year things will be a lot more hectic, as I'll be looking to set up a life here, and things will have to move very fast in order for that to happen. That time will be a lot different than the R & R I've experienced this time around.
My bag is all packed (and heavier than I anticipated). I've done a run around the house with it, and either I'm severely out of shape or the rucksack is quite heavy. Stupid first-aid kit (I'm blaming it on that and my sleeping bag).
Chris arrived in Paris last night, and is having the time of his life from what I can tell. I'll be seeing him in approximately 13 hrs.
So this is it. This is really it. April 4th is here (a date I've been looking at on calendars forever). My adventure begins today.
